Thursday, July 27, 2006

You can trust Him

I am on a withdrawal mode. My pile of work went down insignificantly and new projects are at the door knocking. So, I am anticipating about another four projects coming in soon and I will be the PM for at least three of them. I guess, I need another raise ^_^

Other than work, I have been reading Job, a man who God called him “blameless.” He was a man, who went through a life tragedy, a sequel of dramas, accusations from his close friends, and health deterioration. Even though he could barely keeping himself sane, he made a remarkable cry-out, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him,” at Job 13:15. The book gave me an insight in comforting people who are going through hell in their lives and it also presented the sovereignty of the Most-High God.

The heart-cried comments that I usually hear from people, who are battling through lives or feeling defeated in certain areas, are “I am not good enough,” “I haven’t been treated right,” “They said…” “I want to be well but I am hurt,” “That is it,” and etc.

I understand that there are people who really want to be healed and would do anything to get out of looser syndromes. While, there are others who just like to talk about it and fish for another audience to make them feel better. However, I have sympathy for all of them, I believe in victorious living not indwelling pain. Pastor Steve Hage said it right that we don’t have a problem with faith; we just have unmended wounds and empty promises in our souls. If we believe that a single sinner’s prayer can forgive all our sins and gives us eternal lives, we don’t have a problem with faith.

It is the spoken word that strikes deeper than a dagger. It is the pain in our souls that stops us from hoping a higher hope and dreaming a bigger dream. It is the memory that as fresh as yesterday suggests that the devastating incidence will continue. It is the same person that tells us there is no way out.

Some time ago, I struggled with these haunting “experience,” as if I could not be where I want to be or fulfill the will of God. I questioned even if God’s forgiveness was enough.

I came to term with my struggles. Because I know that the haunting will not cease but I can be transformed from glory to glory when I am in the very God of presence. I know that if I just keep my eyes on the Lord, whatever hardship it may be, His grace is enough for me. I know that if I keep living in a microscopic life, I am missing the majesty of His doing. I know no matter how much I struggle, He is sustaining me all along.

The good news is, " No one whose hope is in you (God) will ever be put to shame" - Psalm 25:3. And as far as I know, He never let go...

Matt Redman -
You Never Let Go
From the album Passion 06: Everything Glorious

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes

We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Chorus: (2x’s)

Monday, July 24, 2006

The hot weather is at fault

“With temperatures again expected to top 100 degrees, power demand was projected to reach an all-time high Monday and prompt some voluntary blackouts, in which some businesses agree to have their power shut off temporarily in exchange for lower rates, according to the Independent System Operator, California's power grid manager.” – CBS news

The bay area is suffering from heat wave. The temperature broke 100 for the past few days. I am reluctant to step out of the house and do anything. Even though the office is much cooler than the sizzling hot sun, I don’t feel like working. I blame it all to the weather =P

Thank God for AC!! I have been living at Eileen’s home for about a month now and they set the AC to auto and keep the temperature at 74 degree.

Generally, I like cooler weather. Hot weather makes me dizzy, headache, suffer from rashes, and many other complications… that is the argument I use to stay away from hot weather. I know that sweating is good but I don’t like it.

I promise myself that my next car WILL NOT be a black one!! My car is giving such a cool look in the winter but it turned into an oven after temperature hits 85s. Think about it, black exterior and black leather seats… however, I like my car, I distant myself away from him.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

你是谁?

很可怕的, 我又梦到了这一个在现实生活不可能认识的人... 这一次, 我们还有很长对话. 记得很清楚的是他说, “... 我要回香港了, 今天晚上...” 然后, 很无奈的看着我.
记得我很难过, 却一句话都说不出来.

我只知道他是一个精通中日英语的人.

解释

可能是梦的季节改变了
可能是梦的颜色变调了
可能是某种花不应该开放的日季
可能是某一个你荒谬的渗入

如果灯光可以凝聚一些
如果时间可以长一点
如果声音可以清楚一些
如果剧情可以透彻一点

也许离开会是相聚的起点
也许说不出的言语是默契的开始
也许我们的世界可以接近很多
也许在捉不住的刹那却是永恒的瞬间

**应该是无聊, 所以开始乱写.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

After a month...

As you can tell, I abandoned blogging for more than a month...

Lately, I am put in a position where I was lost in words.
I feel an invisible wall that I need to breakthrough in order to access to my next destination. It might sound funny but as if I had a clog in my brain. I cannot recall certain things and I am not able to put thoughts into writing or speech.

Busyness consumed me for the past months. I failed to post a blog for Fathers’ Day to remember all the good things of my Father in heaven and fathers on earth. I wanted to mention how grateful I am to be loved by God and all these great father figures. I planned to give kudos to my biological dad, who calls out my potential and encourages me to venture far and achieve high. I wished to give thanks to Jim Bouc, who speaks positive words into my life and impresses me with his humanity and helping hands. I wanted to share with my god daddy, Pastor Moses, who shows me a role model of Christ faithful servant and perseverance during life turbulence.

Their generosity is beyond measure.
Their laughter and humor is hilarious.
Their kindness, integrity, and humanity, are vast.
They resemble the shadow of the most-high God.

Then, I missed to comment on my overloaded projects, Angeline and KK’s pre-wedding pictures, world cup, my uncle’s salvation, a tempting startup recruitment, and a new anime – Bleach.

I'll catch up.