Confusion

Confusion.
That is the only word I can think of to describe my current stage.

As if my mind is playing trick on me; as if my greatest fear in this journey is about to unfold; as if all the questions and uncertainties begin to surface… I shiver facing the overwhelming thoughts.

I can only pray that everything will be on God’s hands and I pray that we all have self-discipline and control one way or another.

The tension and nervousness manifest most when a question caused my heart to skip a beat and carried me to ponder and puzzle further than ever. Looking at the dream, which is all that I could ask for, I could not help but attempt to explore the intention behind the scene.

In a way, I believe it is better I face this fear now than later. I also believe that the Lord-all-knowing understands clearly of my struggles. Therefore, either I would get over this challenge then find the certainty that nobody can convince me otherwise or I might have to face the truthful answer that long rested in my soul.

I pray that my Lord will make it loud and clear for me. Loud and clear. Real loud and clear… that is what I need now.

Confusion. That is what I call it.

Nov. 12, 2007

The 15-year of journey has been a long time but it seems like it has just started. I find that this relationship has reached beyond what I would have imagined 15 years ago. It has been transforming everyday and I can clearly and surely say that I am more in love than ever before.

I look forward the many many many years to come as we go toward the eternity. I eagerly look forward to meeting You face to face. It has been good! It has been truly magnificent.

Today, I am can be proud of myself because of You.
I am glad that I have chosen to be obedient.
I hope the conversation will turn out right and I pray that the You will grant divine wisdom for the next steps. When we turn our focus back to You and seek Your will, I want to see You look down from Your throne of mercy and grace and smile at us. I know that what You have in mind for us is the best!

In case I forgot, I want to tell You that… Thanks for the walk! And please continue to walk with me.

向左走向右走

在相遇的城市迷失之前

寻找一张似曾相识的脸

握在手中的风筝断了线

是因为我寂寞你才出现

还是你的存在让我自怜

缘分走过我身边变成答录机遥远的留言

甜蜜在梦幻的一瞬间留下了真实的思念

一段情就能连接两个人的天

一条路就能让两个人霎那之间命运都改变

只要愿意相信就能相见

一滴泪就能挡住两个人的天

模糊我的视线

... 回想着在德洲时的傻气. 那时的天空相隔了时间, 缘分续不了距离.
所以我呼吸的空间, 没有你.