Confusion

Confusion.
That is the only word I can think of to describe my current stage.

As if my mind is playing trick on me; as if my greatest fear in this journey is about to unfold; as if all the questions and uncertainties begin to surface… I shiver facing the overwhelming thoughts.

I can only pray that everything will be on God’s hands and I pray that we all have self-discipline and control one way or another.

The tension and nervousness manifest most when a question caused my heart to skip a beat and carried me to ponder and puzzle further than ever. Looking at the dream, which is all that I could ask for, I could not help but attempt to explore the intention behind the scene.

In a way, I believe it is better I face this fear now than later. I also believe that the Lord-all-knowing understands clearly of my struggles. Therefore, either I would get over this challenge then find the certainty that nobody can convince me otherwise or I might have to face the truthful answer that long rested in my soul.

I pray that my Lord will make it loud and clear for me. Loud and clear. Real loud and clear… that is what I need now.

Confusion. That is what I call it.